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Showing posts with label humanitarians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humanitarians. Show all posts

Saturday, 16 November 2013

Disasterjunkie DJ's emergency ipod - Top 20 chart run down.

ipod touch case
Hello popsters! 

Are back-to-back emergencies getting you down? No time to grab a moment to yourself? Team-housemates getting on your nerves? 

Disasterjunkie DJ is back with a top 20 chart run down to banish those blues, so kick back, plug in and enjoy!

20. "I ain't got no home", a timeless Woody Guthrie song sung by Billy Bragg, should strike a chord with many a nomadic humanitarian. Give it up for the Braggster!

19. "Passengers" by Elton John, or rather the specific lyric "deny the passengers who want to get on..." will bring back memories of interminable waits in foreign domestic airports, while the video reminds us of the fashions still available in local markets up the road from said airports. 

18. "Just like a woman" by Bob Dylan, a true classic and is dedicated to all those people, colleagues or otherwise, who still struggle to understand what gender mainstreaming is all about. 

17. "Where did all the good people go" by Jack Johnson laments the harsh reality when experienced humanitarians are rotated on to the next emergency leaving hard-to-fill shoes behind or the collective sigh under the breath when colleagues belonging to other organs from the higher echelons of humanitarian architecture are promoted to a higher level of incompetence.

16. "Eight days a week" by The Beatles is as fresh today as it was when it was first released and will resonate with all of you who cry with laughter when reading the hours written in to your contract, which you and I both know, is a work of fiction.

15. "Our house" by Madness gives a warm, fuzzy glow to the most extreme team-abode, whether it is a collective tent, a cluster of tukuls, or concrete box of a house with the outdoor pit latrine, electric fence, sleeping guards and so on and madness it surely is...

14. "I've gotta get a message to you" by The Bee Gees is dedicated to all of the humanitarians around the world, who were in the field before the advent of facebook and twitter and tried their utmost to send letters home by donkey, moped, boat, small plane, large plane, 4 by 4 and via the multi-pocketed jacket or waistcoat of fellow aidworkers on their way to R&R with the promise of a cool beer "if you could post this for me when you reach <insert city>".

13. "A little less conversation" by Elvis Presley remixed by JXL, or specifically the line "A little less conversation a little more action please" will sound familiar when waiting on a decision from HQ or cluster coordination meeting (sorry did I just use 'decision' and 'cluster' in the same sentence? ...mea culpa)

12. "Express yourself" by Labrinth celebrates the individuality (or perceived individuality) of aidworkers the world over who proudly wear ethnic jewelry, henna tattoos, hair braids, loud African or Indonesian print trousers, desert boots, teva sandals, RayBans and various bags made out of recycled WFP food sacks.

11. "Love is a battlefield" by Pat Benatar is an ode to humanitarian lovers everywhere, who met on mission...but did your love make it? Only you can decide...

10. "I need a dollar" by Aloe Blacc heralds that uncomfortable feeling when working round the clock to submit yet another funding proposal or when your R&R budget didn't quite stretch to cover a visit to the local spa.

9. "A whiter shade of pale" by Procol Harum aptly describes the appearance of British humanitarians arriving in the field for the first time, or when they experience their first ever tropical intestinal parasite or the morning-after-the-night-before heavy, all-night NGO party.

8. "Under pressure" by Queen rings alarm bells for those of you who know only too well what it feels like when your HQ insists that you magic a multi-sectoral emergency relief programme out of virtually nothing under the glare of media spotlight while rivals proudly display the merits of unrestricted rapid emergency response funding.

7. "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, will tug at the heartstrings of the most hardcore of aidworkers, when packing and unpacking rucksacks for the umpteenth time.

6. "Young, wild and free" by Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa ft. Bruno Mars tips a nod to the youthfulness of humanitarians who still feel 17 years (or the age when they first went on mission) inside because "conflict zones make you feel so alive you know" and the unwritten motto "work hard, play even harder".

5. "One day/reckoning song" by Asaf Avidan could refer to upward and downward accountability but the lyric "one day baby we'll be old..." is a dead giveaway exposing the illusion of number 6.

4. "Pumped up kicks" by Foster the People is dedicated to all of us who feel that adrenalin rush whether we like it or not during deployment...you know what I'm talking about.

3. "Roar" by Katy Perry is a ferocious take on those 'straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back moments' when aid cargo is stuck at customs, visas are refused, security incidents prevent movement, team members are playing up, there are more needs than resources, there's an idiot in charge of inter-agency coordination, CNN is in your face, flag-waving territory-grabbing newbie aid organisations get up your nose and one of your ex's turns up in a position of influence...yep, "You're gonna hear me roar" alright!

2. "Blurred lines" by Robin Thicke ft. T.I and Pharrell will resonate with those who have experienced awkward civil-military relations. Let's give it up for humanitarian space, the final frontier!

1. "One thing" by One Direction might seem an odd choice for number one but its kind of all encompassing and all consuming, which emergency situations themselves often are. You see there will always be one thing you will forget to do on your never-ending to do list, always one thing more that the people you have come to serve will want or need, which you can't meet and  always one thing that unites us  humanitarians wherever we are - the love of humanity itself. Give yourselves a pat on the back. All that is asked of you is to do your best and not one thing more. 

Peace and love to all... xxx









Thursday, 5 September 2013

Things to do at airports 3

We humanitarians carry a LOT of baggage, when going to or returning from our assignments don't we? 



I'm sure you'll agree that it can be a real bummer waiting and waiting at that luggage carousel, like weary twitchers anxiously peering through the crowds for a glimpse of a rare endangered species of the winged variety. Well if you are looking for a way to pass the time at baggage reclaim then take note of this tutorial and let yourself go...



Monday, 4 February 2013

Blonde Bombshell in Crisis or case of mistaken identity?

Dear readers,

The Blonde Bombshell in Crises is back on the blog after a bit of a break, having been pootling around in the paradise of Papua New Guinea for a few months.

I felt the urgent need to resume this blog. Why now? Well, dear readers, I feel compelled to clear up some confusion regarding a certain blonde bombshell mentioned in an article in the Metro news on Sunday 3rd February 2013. The title reads "Rush-hour crush goes in search of charity worker who caught blonde bombshell's eye" and you can read the article by clicking on the title.

Apparently the metro blonde bombshell wrote "To the guy in the City Year red jacket at Old Street. You're tall, not so dark, but still handsome. This tall, blonde, cougar wants you all to herself." 




As a consequence, several men volunteering for City Year, thought they fitted that description and were obviously up for some cougar lovin' and here is their response:

 

 A friend of mine notified me of this article by text. Is someone pretending to me moi? Or is it just an unfortunate coincidence? I say 'unfortunate' coincidence because my reputation is at stake. As much as I love reading about urban love stories (a guilty pleasure, I know, but it does help to alleviate stress), I wish to put the record straight and tell you in no uncertain terms that the blonde bombshell of metro-land is not me but a clear case of mistaken identity.

You'll just have to trust me on that. But knowing that you humanitarians and charity workers sometimes have the tendency to slip into cynicism now and again, (and it is understandable after all you have been through), I state my case as follows:

1. Old Street is not my work or playground. My travels take me beyond the London underground, as many of you can testify to....and the last time I checked Old Street had not suffered a conflict or natural disaster crisis.

2. Daaahhhlings I do not need to advertise in the Metro. Why would I? (I am happily spoken for...)

3. Sweeties I am but a kitten, not a cougar! Fluffily gamboling through the meadows of life. I thought that was obvious.......prrrrrrrrrrr. Predation on unsuspecting young things is not my forte.

I'm sure that clears things up!

To the blonde bombshell in metro-land I sincerely wish you all the best in tracking down your guy and may you live happily ever after.

To metro readers, do try and match them up by Valentine's Day, what a coup that would be (of the non-military-revolution kind).

To the City Year guys, keep up the good work and if you fancy some pre-dates with other blonde bombshells then give Humanitarian Dating a whirl.

Its the humane way to find the person of your dreams...








Thursday, 26 May 2011

Disasterjunkie jargonbuster 1 - Stakeholder analysis

For all you humanitarians out there I'm sure you have come across this term aplenty in assessments and project proposal writing but it can be confusing. So let's break it down into its parts. According to the Oxford online dictionary

Stake - a stake is a strong wooden or metal post with a point at one end, driven into the ground to support a plant, form part of a fence, mark a boundary etc

Holder -  a person that holds something

Analysis -  a detailed examination of the elements or structure of something 

So if we put them together we can possibly deduce that stakeholder analysis means a detailed examination of a person holding a wooden stake. And then we ask, who would be interested in carrying out such an examination? Evidence based on popular culture would lead us to conclude there is one significant target group - VAMPIRES (see Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Vampire Diaries, and my favourite True Blood).

Therefore a stakeholder analysis is in fact a vampire-led risk assessment. 


Techniques a vampire or group of vampires could use in conducting a risk assessment might include direct observation as seen below


or semi structured interviews with key informants, ideally in an informal setting as observed here


As a noticeably discriminated-against group it understandable why vampires would want and need to conduct risk assessments considering the blatant provocative slogans inciting hatred against them



As yet there is no International Convention on All Forms of Discrimination Against Vampires but perhaps in future this might reach the agenda of the United Nations so that vampires everywhere will be protected and they can claim their rights. 


Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Well Blogger Me!

Welcome to the b.b.c.  - that is the acronym for blonde bombshell in crises, not to be confused with a much loved national media institution from Old Blighty and I wouldn't want to be so presumptious as to hint that I could, quite easily, be mistaken for a national treasure....

Why b.b.c?


  • Blonde - I am blonde in appearance but not blonde of mind
  • Bombshell - I am working on this bit but suffice to say that I have seen a fair few of these in the odd war zone here and there
  • in Crises - I am a humanitarian aid worker by profession in perpetual motion to various humanitarian crises and natural disaster emergencies around the world


And to blog or not to blog?

That is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the pings and......sorry, a bit distracted there.  I'm blogging for light relief, taking a slightly tongue in cheek and irreverent view of the eccentricities of humanitarians (myself included) and the humanitarian world we orbit around in the hope that it will make you smile and take some well-earned cyber R&R.

You are welcome to join me on this journey to Satire.....no security clearance required but remember to pack your flak jacket.

Peace

Sarah xx