Disasterjunkie jargonbuster 4 - Humanitarian space

Humanitarian space.......the final frontier. Another little gem from the aid bablefish that needs a teensy bit of jargonbusting...

According to the Oxford online dictionary, as mentioned in disasterjunkie's jargonbuster 3,  a

humanitarian - is a person or groups concerned with or seeking to promote human welfare

and

space - the dimensions of height, depth, and width within which all things exist and move; the physical universe beyond the earth's atmosphere

so if we put them together we might come up with something like this

"humanitarian space is the physical universe beyond the earth's atmosphere within which humanitarians exist and move"

Imagine that, humanitarians moving about in outer space delivering inter-galactic aid without any national, international, or planetary borders, where flash appeal means "Flash, aaah....aaah......saviour of the universe"

Flash Gordon on the Planet Mongo.....hmmmm Planet Mongo, sounds like a new NGO doesn't it? Not to be confused with mango, the fruit. Maybe it is the Martian Organisation for Neighouring Galaxy Outreach.  After all there are a lot of aliens that might need protection and assistance or durable solutions to help them return home or resettle elsewhere. The Men in Black have been doing that since the late 1990s....

 

Just think of the rights of vulnerable aliens, like the Daleks, for example, who are often discriminated against and excluded and might require special measures in place for them to be able to access aid.

And what about those creatures, humanoid, android or other that might require a little bit of tlc and psychosocial support after many years travelling a the speed of light, getting sucked into worm holes or caught in the cross fire of star wars? Well Red Dwarf has been providing that service for years too. Just take a look at a clip from one of their counselling sessions.

So I do believe we have plenty of opportunities for peer-to-peer learning and support to help us to prepare for multi-dimensional missions.  As one of my favourite inter-galactic logisticians, Mr Spock, said "It's life, Captain, but not as we know it", we must be ready to save lives wherever and whenever we are needed.


If you are feeling kind of Kevin at the moment (oh come on people, work it out, you are an intelligent life form are you not?)

As I said, if you are feeling a little bit Kevin these days and in need of  a new mission that is out of this world, don't klingon to the past, do the Timewarp instead.

Switch to warp drive and get ready to meet a Star man! And with that I'll leave you with the wise words of Ziggy Stardust

"There's a starman waiting in the sky

He'd like to come and meet us 

but he thinks he'd blow our minds.

There' a starman waiting in the sky

He's told us not to blow it

Cause he knows its all worthwhile.

He told me:

Let the children lose it

Let the children use it

Let all the children boogie"

Disasterjunkie jargonbuster 3 - Humanitarian reform

Hello readers! It's time for another round of jargon busting. Humanitarian reform has become quite a buzzword in aidspeak but what does this actually mean? Let's break this down into its constituent parts for a greater understanding. According to the Oxford online dictionary:


Humanitarian ....person or groups concerned with or seeking to promote human welfare


Reform ... cause (someone) to relinquish an immoral, criminal, or self-destructive lifestyle

So putting them together this means "causing a person or group concerned with or seeking to promote human welfare to relinquish immoral, criminal or self-destructive lifestyle". I detect a paradox there. Immoral, criminal or self-destructive humanitarians? Are there such things? Surely not! Our organisational codes of conduct keep us reigned in and tightly bound as the paragons of virtue we all like to promote, especially in front of the cameras, don't they?  After all, I mean sex, drugs and rock and roll are only ways to self-medicate in order to preserve one's sanity under extreme circumstances aren't they? 

Firstly, take emergency sex for example, "ooohh yes please I hear you cry", "oh, if only I had the opportunity, another sighs" as common mitigation measure to reduce stress.  Here are some case studies from the field

Be aware of the risks and if you have to do it, practice safe sex. No I don't think you understand...neither...

nor a quickie during an evacuation, while throwing yourself onto your team mate to avoid a hail of bullets overhead. 

And secondly take drugs, for example, er, no I don't mean "go take drugs" because that would be immoral and criminal wouldn't it? Well apart from things like your doctor prescribes for you like anti-malarials or those nasty tasting pills that you can't take with alcohol to flush out intestinal parasites (I'm sure you've had those).  The side effects could take you places where you don't need recreational drugs. I mean I've heard that lariam can be trippy (and far from recreational) as many years ago a colleague of mine took it and flipped out for 6 weeks in a war zone......not pretty. One has to be careful of side effects. Seek the advice of your  doctor. Your local team of doctors without boundaries...er no, cough, borders, that's it, doctors without borders should be able to assist. 


And lastly rock n roll. Raise your hand if you've been to an NGO party and survived? You must have survived to be here reading this blog, but anyway. Remember those heady nights, a frenzied writhing and gyrating to crackly transistor radio/beatboxes under the moon and stars or in a godforsaken sweaty shack somewhere in the middle of nowhere until dawn comes up? Yes I can see it all now, while peering through the fog of too many deadly local fags lit up all at once (fags = ciggies, just in case you were wondering), hanging from the lips of fellow aidworkers, their hands thrust high clutching at bottles of some dubious and lethal brew masquerading as local light beer, bodies a riot of colour in oversized African print shirts or de-rigeur ripped NGO-bossed T-shirts...ahh happy daze.  


So what is the solution? How does one reform a humanitarian? It would be no mean feat.  Are these examples illustrations of an immoral, criminal or self-destructive lifestyle or simply coping strategies? You decide!

Top ten aidworker essentials

Hello readers! 


I posted this chart run down list on an aid workers web forum many many moons ago but I think it could be still relevant today.


10. Extra toilet paper - you never know when you might need it. 

9. NGO T-shirt - to facilitate bonding between clones of aidworkers. 

8. Desert boots or Teva sandals - soooo fashionable in the bush. 

7. Maglite torch - to throw light on any crisis including a midnight dash to the pit latrine. 

6. That waistcoat - you know, the one with all the pockets (making anoraks look hip). 

5. Cargo pants - more pockets in case you don't have enough to hide BP5 biscuits in above waistcoat. 

4. Leatherman or Swiss Army knife - something to fiddle with when stressed out. (Which type are you?)

3. Handheld VHF radio and corresponding call sign - the must-have accessory to make you feel important, (remember to keep it on even in meetings). 

2. Shades - the all round reflective kind so that nobody sees you dozing off in coordination meetings. 

1. Aid-workers arm - one arm a slightly darker tan than the other due to hanging it out of the window of your Toyota or Nissan 4 by 4 in the sunshine.


If you have any interesting updates I would like to hear from you.